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- TOP TEN SIGNS YOU'RE WATCHING TOO MUCH COURT TV
-
- 10. Recurring nightmare about being trapped in Ito's beard
-
- 9. You've named your poodles "Rosa" and "Lopez"
-
- 8. You have overpowering urge to pay people to lie for you
-
- 7. You've let both foreign and domestic policy slide for months (Bill
- Clinton only)
-
- 6. When your kid breaks a neighbor's window, you yell, "Get in the
- Bronco and drive!"
-
- 5. All your erotic fantasies seem to involve bailiffs
-
- 4. You ask MCI to add Johnnie Cochran to your Friends and Family
- list
-
- 3. Kato Kaelin no longer seems like a freeloading bonehead
-
- 2. You go to the supermaket every day, but all you ever buy is O.J.
-
- 1. You're having conjugal visits with yourself
-
- Letterman, Thursday, March 9, 1995.
- Copyright Worldwide Pants, Inc. 1995
-